Obsessed .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ,

Happy birthday to Ryan and me =)

Just wanna say THANK YOU to

Benjamin

Justin

Waileong

Dion

Ryan

Daniel

Darren

Kitloon

Brandon

Rivy

Peixin

Agnes

YeePeng

Ahling

Cindy

Cheryl

Candy

Danial

Syafikah

Rickson

Nikita

Classmates & Schoolmates !

Thanks for those messages , surprises and presents. If it hadn't been for you guys , i would never remember this 16th birthday deeply . Eventhough i admit i'm not really happy on that day but still i appreciate whatever is done . THANK YOU .

will be missing in action for sometime =)

I think i've gone to far this time , so far that i might not even be able to come back. So far yet so near .

I'm taking a step back

"Think and take time to listen to your heart,
sometimes you don't have to ask yourself who you love more
but ask who really makes you happy and
who makes you feel loved."

I'm going to be happy today,

Though the skies may be cloudy and gray

No matter what may come my way

I'm going to be happy today

Because i know a rainbow will be there for me after the rain .

Kazunori Shiin -  A SOMEBODY will never quarrel with a NOBODY. You're lucky I had to play a gentleman for "NOW". And "NOW" doesn't last FOREVER. The day will eventually come where you're see the SOMEBODY from hell .

Looking back through the past I had when i was still a kid , life seems to be full of anticipation and surprises.Full of hope and dreams. More Happyness than sadness, more living less suffering . Playing and running about at the old playground below Granny's house with siblings and childhood friends . The biggest fear during that time was being sold to AHPUNEHNEH . How scary it was !

But then life isn't just that simple and naive . The finishing line for every Human being is in the Coffin . No matter who you are what you are , everyone is fated to die someday . You're powerless against fate .

Back to 4 years ago , where things started to get interesting . In school , i knew THEM . People who i never imagine existed has appeared infront of me , given to me by fate . School things were fun, and you'll feel that you've got all the time in the world. Spending the morning together sleeping in class , quarralling and skipping class . And in the afternoon ,  shopping , basketball , lunch , swimming , going for chalets and gatherings. Sitting down alone under the huge oak tree enjoying the breezy wind is still the best .

But being in school isn't something that easy . It was there where I first felt the harsh reality of losing someone close . And it was there where i found out the evil , stupid , selfish , and cruel side of a human being .

Right now I find myself at stage where everything seems dead.
Colors doesn't seem vibrant anymore... The air seems stale. Food.. tasteless~
Maybe my heart is filled with tar and blackness and my mind stained...
Irreversable and dying.

Why exercise? So you can lead a healthy life!!
why lead a healthy life so you don't suffer when you're old
why live old? so you get to see your wrinkled old self in the mirror and grandchildren grow up.
Why see you grandchildren grow up? Because theres nothing else in life to offer...
Why isn't there anything to offer? Because lifes just like that!

This is definately a cross junction in my life. No matter where i'm heading. I know i've
done what I could. Despite having my spirits dampened by the way thing are in this world...
we all somehow live in denial from the things we want and the truth we believe in.
We lie to ourselvese so much we start to believe...

Don't try to cross over Shin's line . Everything has its limit . I bow down to no man who fail to earn my respect . 

I've thought through this past days , that no matter how my life is going to change in the future , i must still go on with what i have now .  が私の友人たち、特にあなたたちのいずれも失わないでしょう ^^

Another sleepness night yesterday , thinking of many stuff and wonder to myself '' what is MY meaning in life ''. Many questions I asked myself ,

Who to believed in ?

Why am i so obsessed with you ?

What have i accomplished up till now ?

When will i be happy ?

Will things change as if from now ?

Why is everything in such a way ?

What is my talent ?

Why is these feelings pestering me ? I've never expected things to feel like this, I've always felt that things would get better. But I don't see how it will. I'm too weak to do anything.  Powerless.... against fate.
Is this all a joke in my life?

I know i've fallen deep , deep below how i used to be . But one thing is for sure , and that is once I stand up and stand upon the edge of those feeling , I'm going all out and everything will change . No one will understand what I'm talking about because I've learnt through lessons to keep things to myself.

OCTOBER 2009 is so fucked up !

Hey guys , i'm back from a tired day ! An unhappy day also =[

Alright , whatever ... Went to Tampines around 3pm to meet Wai ,Daniel & Esther for badminton at sport hall . Well , when i reached there , the thing was postponed till 5pm . Super boring sitting on the bench talking H2H with Wai . Daniel & Esther went to T1 walk walk .

Then after they came back we went in to play for approximately 2 hours before leaving . Ben & Justin couldn't attend due to some other things . After we finished the game , went back home .

Once reach home idiot Ben called me out to Tampines for dinner again and i was super shag , but still i went , don't know why . So bathed and went to TM again to have my dinner and chitchited with Wai Ben Daniel . They went to CafeCartel after i had my dinner at the foodcourt . IDIOTS ! Making me fat ... Then after much of eating , walked to Mac and chitchatted . Took bus 21 home alone .

I know what i'm doing now is wrong , but i can't possibly stop it from coming . Its really really miserable .

4A5 Class Outing ! Yup , yesterday when out with several of my classmates to Sentosa for FUN under the SUN ! Met Augustine & Zulkamal at Pasir ris Inter at 2pm and went to meet the others at Kembangan MRT . Bought a dozen of donuts for them to makan during the picnic .

Anyway , the people who attend consist of Justin , Rickson ,Augustine , Zulkamal , Danial , Me , Syafikah , Nasyithah & Zulaikah . So once reach Siloso beach we ate whatever there is and then camwhored . =) WE boys even built sandcastles and tunnels at the beach . Then ... JUMPED INTO THE SEA ! I will never swim after eating so much fried food !

Went to bathe after swimming and when i came out , Asimah miracally appeared ! Haha , then then explored Sentosa to take more pictures and then back to Vivo and trained off . Went to Bugis with Justin to have our dinner and also visited Rivy at her shop .  W.Shopping around Bugis Street and Junction then bussed to Pasir Ris to find the other guys who are having their class chalets . Rivy also took bus home with us . Thats some cool bloodstains you have there Rivy =D`

After meeting Waileong , Ben and Dion inside the chalet ... Don't be too upset Dion , we will always be there for you . Totally SMM ! Hahahahahahaha

So Dion went off first then we're off to TON ! L4D & BF2 at Elias Mall till 4am then Poker till morning . AND finally i went home and slept till 5pm now =) Tsktsk .

Happy 1st birthday , Derrick !

Cool huh ? Thats a picture taken during my first year old birthday party . =) Haha !

Okay ! Today Dad & Sis went to buy a new laptop and finally i got webcam to take picture already ... Then during the afternoon went to Whitesand with my sis to get a Laptop bag and bussed to Downtown to book the Chalet for my birthday . $158 flew away !

Then went home and bathed then went to TM to catch a movie with Ben , Justin , Waileong & Rivy . Watched ''Imagine That'' . Rated only 2.5/5 stars cause not really suitable for our age you see . But at least makes us laugh because of Eddie Murphy . 

After the movie ended , had PepperLunch as dinner at CS then went to T1 Roof see stars . After that walked to Mac but its full thanks to the Liverpool VS Man U match . Walked to TM mac to chat till 11.30pm before bussing home with Rivy . The end .

(: Oh man ! Boring boring boring .....

Yesterday went to work to earn more money to spent during the holidays . I found that theres internet connection in the market an i'm so damn happy cause i'll be able to use internet while working . Tsktsk !

Soooo anyway , after a long long day , went home and bathe then to the computer to surf the internet and chat with friends till 3am+ . Finally i've completed watching Bloody Monday the drama . Lucky eyebags didn't appear today .

Anyway , today is another wasted day at home . Woken up around 2pm+ then use the computer . Simply just hogging the computer like a koala hugging on to the tree . Hahaha !  Cute huh ? And also , i've thought that i'm gonna dye my hair again next month , cause i'm kind of bored of the colour i'm having now . Probably a pure blonde , then i'll attend the prom !

Cant wait for another week to pass then it'll be Chalet fever like what Waileong said . Till then ... Bye !

Argh ! Its 8.55am now and why am I awake ? Yesterday went for soccer session and went home dead beat.

So this was what happened yesterday .

Woke up , have lunch ... Use the computer MSNing and watch videos until around 5.30 left house and went to Simei . Met up with Justin at the court first and waited for Wai ,Dion & Ben for roughly ONE HOUR ! So first thing first ... Shot some hoops and found out i lost touch in Basketball , super depressed !

Then went for soccer inside the court . Its Us VS Brandon , Izzan ,Ahde and some sec 3 guys . We won ! Scored 4 goals for the first match and 2 goals in the second . =) Anyway , back to playing some basketball match and then sat in the basketball court talking among ourself .

Went to CC and had our dinner while Dion went to bring his BIMBO along . Dad came and brought me home =D

Will be working later on ...

The end